Friday, January 07, 2005
body wasnt feeling well yesterday. slept the entire afternoon, oso took panadol before sleeping at night. dunno y, mebe i fasted for the day but didnt drink enuff fluid the day before.
mom asked me last night at 2345. she wanted to know if there was any outcome to the istikharah. i told her there still wasnt any, but had a vague one, like an image of Da in my house. then mom asked to check out wif ustaz Azman wat would be the best next step to take. i told her abt the kind of sign ppl get, dat signs come not only in a form of dream, but like actions, and environment, and feelings abt the whole situation. n i told my mom i'd keep praying till i get something ah..
as i was walking twds my room, she asked me for my next step. then the conversation resumed.. i told her the ball is in her court now, i let her decide wat to do next ah. to put it short, mom's worried dat i may not have enuff money by the time i get married dis yr end. i tried to convince her wif watever plans i've made. alhamdulillah watever qsns she popped up, i managed to counter her confidently, reassuringly and gently, without the need to break into any misunderstanding. oso in her mind was the "dulang2" thingy, the gifts dat come wif marriage. she suggested a songket, something quite expensive but traditional and lasting. i told mom Da oredi got herself a pair of lace kurung, the muslimah kind. for dis part, i sensed mom was worried i had to spend lotsa money on dis, but i reassured mom, if we can get a pair of ladies shoes for abt $150, then why go for a $300 one? in other words, y go for a 6-star item when we can be contented wif a 4-star one?
mom revealed she planned to come over Da's side, if i got my dream, or if she feels fine wif it, to pass a ring to Da, as a sign of us being serious abt marrying Da. its not an engagement, but more like a mini one. then i told mom we oredi budgeted for it. i went to the extend of encouraging her to ask her friends or anyone she knows to ask how much their children spent on marriage preps, if the info i convey to her was not convincing enuff. :) it seems she lost out on dis one coz i dont think she has any friends whose children just got married ;).
overall, alhamdulillah im glad the conversation was a peaceful and constructive one. i believe i've won more points than mom. before i went into my room, i parted off wif reiterating dat the ball's in her court now, n while i keep praying, its up to her to decide wat to do at the moment. Allah's blessing depends on parents blessings, so i told her i'd not move on till she gives the green light.
we'll see how it'll be in the days to come...
to Da, remain as strong as u have been. i can sense ur frustration in ur recent blog entry, but alhamdulillah im glad u've been there wif me. :) stay cool, sayang! *muuacks*
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