LiNkInMaDMaN's Matrix

Thursday, June 30, 2005 Happy Birthday To Me..

Happy birthday to me,
Happy birthday, happy birthday,
Haaappyyy biiiiirrrthhdaaaaayyy toooo meeeee!

Alhamdulillah, just entered 27 yrs old, n counting. Alhamdulillah a lot of pleasant things happen on dis day, especially yesterday night, for the first time celebrating wif my Darling. Like she said, it'd be the first and last time celebrating my birthday as a fiance-fiancee... InsyaAllah by next yr, as husband n wife, in a new house, n a new life, Amin.

I'd like to thank all who have been wishing me since 12 midnight dis morning, n may Allah grant u all happiness n health too! Think I'd sleep early tonight. It's gonna be a long long day tomorrow..

Sunday, June 26, 2005

I tot I won't succumb to it..

But I was wrong.. after the trip, I didn't get enuff rests due to the induction courses on Tues n Wed, a whole-day staff workshop on Thurs n a half-day meeting on Fri.. not to forget the Speech Day Rehearsal dat was done on the same day dat afternoon. So I believed my frail body didnt get the necessary rest to recover from the trip to KL. I'm now down wif a slight runny nose, some cough n a weak body. Darling Da wanted me to go see Doc, but at dis moment, I prefer to self-medicate first. Still have some house work to do, mebe brain storm to get some ideas on how to teach algebra to the Sec 1 class tomorrow, n have lotsa rest as much as I can.

Want to get some food to eat for breakfast... hmm, wat has mom come up wif dis morning...?

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

We're back from KL...

n here r the pics..

http://linkinmadman.multiply.com/photos/album/5

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

The Flat Saga Part 3

Sometimes parents are like flip-flop switches..
For the non-engineering-inclined people, flip-flop switches are used to change state of electronic circuits between 0 and 1. Somehow Dad suggested me staying wif them after marriage. According to him, after all, I have no other siblings. They won't be long here on earth, n I'll be able to take over the house eventually. I would make a lot of savings from not buying a new flat, and Da's family would understand. He added that people would find it funny if I were to stay wif Da's parents who oredi have other kids wif them, who eventually will take care of them, while I avoid staying wif my parents who have no one else besides me..

I was thinking, WHAT IS GOING ON WIF MY DAD???!! I reminded him of wat he told me in the car dat day, of me not staying wif my mom.. He didn't deny dat, but he said after dat, he gave himself some thoughts, and felt dat it would be best if I were to stay wif them. According to him, mom would eventually cool off and mellow down.. I definitely don't buy dat argument!! Then he told me to think it over, I told him I'd have the next 9 mths to think it over. I was just soo upset over wat my dad told me. All I asked him was about my mom, n whether she was still thinking of the money she'll receive soon, instead I received such a topic for discussion over "son n dad" sunday breakfast!...

I've made Da cry by the news about the house thingy. I knew it was very very tough for both of us. But Alhamdulillah Da suggested the next day to apply for the house near my parents ah, abandon the thought of getting one at Punggol, Sengkang or anywhere for dat matter. n also, Alhamdulillah the units dat we have been aiming for are still available. It helps dat Bukit Merah is densely populated wif the other race, and the quota for them is full, leaving the quotas for Malays n Others. Wif reference to Da's friend who gets her walk-in flat about 1 month after signing and paying the $2,000 refundable deposit, we decided to only apply for the flat again sometime in Sept. At least, if HDB were to call us down, it may be in Oct. N we'll appeal for the marriage cert verification to be done somewhere in May, dat'll be about 6 mths from the day of receiving the keys..

Pray for us, insyaAllah dat wat we plan for would be a reality, for the benefit for both me n Da, as well as my parents. At least, it'll be a compromise between living near my parents, and getting our own space. For all the sacrifice done by Da, there's just one thing I'd like to express in my space here: "I Love U, Sayangku!" *Muuacks* :D

END OF PART 3.

Will there be another continuation? only time will tell..!

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

The Flat Saga Part 2

Mom n dad went over to Da's place last Sunday to discuss the finer details of the marriage. At dis present moment, it is agreed dat the wedding will be held on 29th April 2006, Saturday, though I heard them mentioning 1st May instead, which will be on Monday. Alhamdulillah, Da's parents and Da herself were more understanding, they gave me support n advice on not to defy my mom and stuffs like dat. As for wat to come out of dis discussion, I myself dunno.

It was fine from the time we came back from Da's place till last night. Dat was when mom went sensitive again. Also due to my fault for being rude to her. I couldn't help it, like Anakin Skywalker, I was still overcome wif anger n frustration not because I couldn't get the flat, but over the accusations n stereotyping she's made against me last Fri. I'm still fighting against my dark side to let go of the grudge and anger in me, but I know it'll take some time. Now mom's not talking to me again. dis morning, it was cold, to the point dat she wanted to go mosque for "Kuliah Dhuha" by herself, while her fractured toe still hurts, and she walked wif a limp. Alhamdulillah, I cancelled my morning appointment and decided not to go school dat early. I left home wif her, n drove her to the mosque. Else it's gonna be another accusation flying to indicate her fury of me getting angry at her whenever she asks me where I went.

U see, being the only child at home now, especially since my sis left, my movements have to be told, my locations be informed, my estimated time of arrival be arranged before hand.. I think, after almost 10 yrs of dis kind of treatment, it has somehow made me furious dat as a 26 yr old guy going 27, I'm still treated like a 7 yr old kid. I have to take dis kind of treatment. I know I have to live wif all dis, Heaven lies at to sole of your mother, so I still owe the respect to my mother, who has carried me for a full 9 mths, gone thru excrutiating labour, and gambled wif her life just to bring me into dis world.... ya, I should extinguish all smoulders of fire in my heart, forgive her for her wrongdoings, and carry on wif life..

now where do I start... Already, I've made Da angry, n dat makes me hurt 2 ladies at one go! sigh, what has become of me... Definitely not a Sith apperentice!

END OF PART 2

Saturday, June 04, 2005

The Flat Saga Part 1

The Flat Selection is OFF!

No purchasing of new flat. Not for now... Mom had to sob uncontrollably in front of me early one Fri morning, accusing me of being a disrespectful son for making final decision to marry in Dec without acknowledging her desire to have it next yr, and me not knowing to control my desire in wanting to get married early. Her threat of "if u still want it your way, go ahead lah, but if u come back n find me not around, just too bad ah" was enough to make me n Da decide to abandon our plan altogether. Wat did she mean by dat? Did she mean she'd leave the house? or would she suffer from a heart attack and pass away? Ya I sound very very crude n disrespectful, but dat is wat she wanted me to intepret. Mom doesn't understand dat Da's family couldn't afford to have 2 wedding receptions. For those non-Muslims, dis means having a small reception for the marriage solemnisation ceremony in Dec 2005, and another larger wedding reception where guests are invited for the feast sometime in May 2006. Though the first reception can be small, but her family members are very extensive, hence it may be small for some but definitely a large one for her, and having 2 receptions would not be cost-effective for her. I couldn't agree less wif dat!

While driving to send my dad to work, I could see the sad look on my dad's face, n the tone of his voice explained everything. I could see he's tried his best. I also made the decision wif my dad, dat I wouldn't be making the flat selection come next tues. I told him dat me n Da had nothing to lose if we miss dis selection. The people who would lose out would be my mom n dad coz I don't forsee us getting another chance of having a flat unit so close to them. For me, wat's the point of selecting if we can't get married when we need to show HDB the marriage cert when the time comes? Dad understood my decision. He also suggested me not to stay wif them after marriage. He understood the pressure Da would have to go thru if we do stay. N I've told him I've decided to apply for another flat somewhere we can better afford, and set up a family further away from them. Probably Sengkang, Punggol, I don't mind anymore. Distance is not a factor for me coz Alhamdulillah I have my own transport, I just need to leave home earlier to work. Now we have a lot more time for our flat selection and more chance of saving up more money for the house.

When I told Da later dat morning. it was hard for her to swallow, it was so very difficult for me to tell her, but I had to, after all, we've promised to share everything, our problems, our concerns, even if it would affect anyone of us badly. Alhamdulillah, Da was able to take it with much patience, insyaAllah. Alhamdulillah Da's mom was also understanding.

Things have to start changing for me... I'll try my best to work towards marriage in middle of next yr..

END OF PART 1

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